OK so since I've moved back home I've discovered a few things
First~ no matter how old you are, if you live under your parents roof, they are in control. and that's been a tough thing for me to grasp. I've spent the last 4 months doing what ever I wanted, coming home whenever, spending my time with whoever. I'm back at my parents house and I can't go anywhere without talking to them first, to let them know where i am going and who i am with, hoping they approve, and when I'll be back (default answer: midnight... am I ever home then? no.) I'm quite the rebellious child, aren't I? I've decided I don' do well being told what to do, my grades were astronomically better this semester living away from home, than last semester when i lived at home.
Second~ Boys with trucks are no good. Ha this ones kind of a joke, and I've known it for a while. I met a couple guys at my singles ward a couple months ago that are way awesome, and they both have trucks and like to go offroading a lot! Everytime we go off-rdoading something bad happens, which is to be expected because we chose the stupidest times to go. Like tonight one of them called me and invited me to go, and I said sure, of course! haha after hanging up the phone I realized it was already 12:30 at night. oh well right? ha! so he picked me up and we went out to the mountain to meet up with our other friends with the other truck. we decide to get a head start and head up the mountain. Once we are near the top we turn off to the side to check out the view of the city (way pretty i wish i had taken a picture) and then when we try leaving we realize we are stuck. It takes about an hour to get out, after we enlist the help of a 4runner and our friend Daves truck. I was just praying that i wouldn't die there. It was fun though, and well worth the time of getting home at 3:30 in the morning (probably shouldn't tell my parents).
Third~ I am still very much in love with my ex. I'm really glad he doesn't know what my blog is (at least im praying he doesn't) because this would be very awkward if he read it. Every single thing I see or hear or do reminds me of him, and it makes me miss him and want to be with him more than ever. He and I are still pretty good friends but we've kept our distance since we stopped dating. I have pictures of us everywhere (you'll notice some posted on my page-- grad pic and the one by the waterfall). I see a cloud that looks like anything and almost burst into tears. I see stars and think of him. I have to go hiking by myself now, because I refuse to share that with anyone else but him, same with star gazing. I hear the song "only one in color"by trapt and cry because it reminds me of him, and his color blindness. I hear the band "fun" and think of him. every song reminds me of him, every movie. All I want is one last chance with him but I feel I will never get it. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have built an amazing testimony of Jesus Christ, while spending time with him. I have bettered myself to be with him, and want to continue to have that. Hes amazing and will be an amazing missionary. He leaves for Peru in a few weeks to serve an LDS mission and I'm so happy for him. He will do wonders for the people there. And they are very blessed to have him.... I am very blessed to have him. I wish I could tell him how i feel, but that would be very unfair, and he has more important things to focus on. anyway, I love him, and he will never know it. Unless by some miracle he wants me backwhen he gets back, in 2 years. I have a big problem attached to my undying love for him. I have a good friend who i had taken an interest in a while back, who has now taken an interest in me. (hes the one with the truck) hes very sweet and in all honesty i should like him, but i can't because im so tied down to my ex. HELP!!!
I also found that when you have very few friends, time goes by really slow. Three of my best friends are getting married this summer and I miss them a ton, i already never see them. I'm also really not enjoying have friends that just live all over the state, because I met them at school and at the end of the year we had to part our separate ways. But on the bright side my brother will be home in 50 days, which will be the first time I will have seen him in two years, and then 11 days later we leave for Florida, and then from there we get on our cruise! its going to be awesome! ill be sure to Let y'all know how amazing that vacay will be. But most of all I'm excited to get back to school, and move into my new apartment and start my awesome classes. Oh and hopefully find a job! I guess I do have a lot going on this summer. Its going to be quite an adventure.
(i also realized that when i blog, i miss capitalization's and have terrible grammar, I hope that doesn't annoy anyone)
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